Date Live Love – Week 1
“I’ve been dating since I was fifteen, I’m exhausted, where is he?” – Charlotte York of Sex and the City.
Many of you have felt this way or may still be feeling this way. The one thing I want you to take away when reading this post is that YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
I am excited to have you join this open-door discussion of singleness and relationships. I have wanted to join these two seasons of life together for a while now. Looking around, I found support for all stages of life, college, engaged, married, married with children, divorced, widowed. But what I rarely see is support for the single-season of life. I am thankful to have a best friend who has encouraged me and supported me throughout the years, being a beacon of hope for me as I go in and out of relationships.
Being single is tough, but so are the other stages of life. That’s what we all have in common. Life is hard. I had a little breakthrough pre covid quarantine that gave me hope. I met someone through an online dating app and it was going in the right direction. Having a successful relationship to me is meeting someone, dating, committing, and getting to know that person. Even though it ended, I still call it a successful relationship. I put myself out there, meet someone, and moved through the process of dating. The way I see it, it put me one step closer to the “right one”.
The goal of the Monday night lives – Date Live Love:
Date Live Love is to talk about uncomfortable topics pertaining to relationships. No one likes talking about being single or being in a tough marriage. Also, no one likes to address how hard it is being single.
When communicating with my audience via Instagram I learned most single women are not even trying, even pre covid. That makes me sad. We are just hanging out on our couches waiting for Mr. Perfect to walk in the door.
News flash, that is not going to happen.
We have to put ourselves out there. It doesn’t matter how cool, pretty, or fun you are, he is not going to find you in your living room binge-watching Fuller House (sad it’s over).
An online dating attitude shift needs to happen in order to be successful. We need to take the negative thoughts and say goodbye to them, replacing them with positive thoughts. The fact is, online dating apps are the most successful way to meet someone in the world that we live in today. If you accept that fact and shift your mindset, it could become more fun.
Stop these thoughts:
- It’s like a second job that you don’t know how to do.
- The guys online are terrible.
- Too much time spent online talking, not even in-person dates being set up.
Start thinking these thoughts:
- Think of online dating apps as an introduction site.
- You are checking out the people in your neighborhood.
- My future whatever could be one swipe away.
- This is F U N!
As women, we need to “lower” our expectations around online dating. That does not mean we lower our standards or values (next week’s topic). It just means we need to keep an open mind and heart. You might be pleasantly surprised with who you meet when you let your heart and interests pick a person and not just looks.
I’m someone who likes to know the facts and what is proven to work. Knowing that about myself, I did some research that I want to share with you.
Facts to know:
The average age of marriage as of 2016 – Women age 27, Men is age 29. If living in a large city, age 30. These numbers give me hope that I am not far off from the average. People are getting married later in life.
Examples of where women are meeting men:
Online dating apps: Bumble, Hinge, Tinder (it’s still around), ship, the league (these are the number one way 1 in 7 couples come from online apps)
Online Dating sites: Match.com Chemisty.com Eharmony.com
Workplace love, church, hobbies, social gatherings, out in the wild, bars, grocery stores, running club, friends setting you up, approaching a man yourself.
Profiles for online dating:
What pictures attract interaction: Women: selfie at a high angel straight on, in your bed, and doing something exciting.
Don’t post: pictures with alcohol and animals
Ultimately, both men and women see connected conversations from pictures that involve an exciting or adventurous experience.
Resources to look into: I will add more as I get use them
Can’t wait for Date Live Love – Week 2! Hope you will join us!