I’ve been dating since I was fifteen, I’m exhausted, where is he? – Charlotte York of Sex and the City
Many of you have felt this way or may still be feeling this way. The one thing I want you to take away when reading this post is that YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
I am excited to have you join this open door discussion of singleness and relationships. I have wanted to join these two seasons of life together for a while now. I looked around and saw support for all stages of life, college, engaged, married, married with children, divorced, widowed. But what I have never seen is support for the single season of life. I am thankful to have a best friend who has encouraged me and supported me through out the years. Being a beacon of hope for me as I go in and out of relationships.
Being single is tough, but so are the other stages of life. Thats what we all have in common. Life is hard. I had a little break through pre covid quarantine that gave me hope. I met someone through an online dating app and it was going in the right direction. Having a successful relationship to me is meeting someone, dating, committing, and getting to know that person. It did end but I still call is a successful relationship. It was me putting myself out there meeting someone and moving through the process of dating.
The goal of the Monday night lives: Date Live Love is to talk about the uncomfortable topics pertaining to relationships. No one likes talking about being single or being in a tough marriage. Also no one likes to address how hard it is being single. When communicating with my audience via Instagram I learned most single women are not even trying, even pre covid. That makes me sad. We are just hanging out on our couches waiting for Mr. Perfect to walk in the door. News flash, that is not going to happen. We have to put ourselves out there. It doesn’t matter how cool, pretty, interning you are he is not going to find you in your living room binge watching Fuller House (sad its over).
Online dating attitude shift needs to happen in order to be successful. We need to take the negative thoughts and say good bye to them. They need to go away and be replaced with positive thoughts. The fact is online dating apps are the most successful in the world we live in today. If you accept that fact and shift your mind set I could become more fun.
Stop these thoughts :
- Its like a second job that you don’t know how to do.
- The guys online are terrible
- To much time spend online talking not even in person dates being set up.
Start thinking these thoughts :
- Think of online dating apps as an introduction site.
- You are checking out the people in your neighborhood.
- My future whatever could be one swipe away.
- This is F U N!
As women need to “lower” our expectations around online dating. That does not mean we lower our standards or values (next weeks topic). It just means we need to keep and open mind and heart. You might be pleasantly surprised with who you meet when you let your heart and interest pick a person to match and not looks.
I’m someone who like to know the facts and what is proven to work. Knowing that about myself I did some research for you and myself.
Facts to know : Average age of marriage as of 2016, Women age 27 Men age 29. If living in a large city age 30. These numbers give me hope that I am not far off from the average. Even if you are recognize that people are getting married later in life.
Examples of where women are meeting men :
Online dating apps : Bumble, Hinge, Tinder (its still around), ship, the league (these are the number on way 1 in 7 couples come from online apps)
Online Dating sites : Match.com Chemisty.com Eharmony.com
Work place love, church, hobbies, social gatherings, out in the wild, bars, grocery stores, running club, friends setting you up, approaching a man yourself.
Profiles for online dating :
What pictures attract interaction :
Women: selfie at a high angel straight on, in your bed, and doing something exciting.
Don’t post : pictures with alcohol and animals
Both men and women see connected conversations from pictures that involve an exciting or adventurous experience.
Resources to look into : I will add more as I get use them